Believe
by angela evans
Summary: Max learns about "I Shall Believe" . . .


"Believe"  
Author: Angela Evans  
Date: 4/21/01  
Rating: PG-13  
Disclaimer: I do not own Roswell, or any of its characters, the song belongs to Sheryl Crow, blah blah, woof woof . . .   
  
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Journal entry 14 Liz Parker scrawled across the top of the page. She stopped and looked at the crisp, fresh page, snowy white except for what she'd written at the top. Liz sighed. What was she going to write about?  
  
She couldn't bring herself to write the words that she knew she should put there. If she wrote them, then it would make them true, and Liz wasn't ready to accept that yet.  
  
She couldn't bring herself to write that she'd seen Max and Tess holding hands.  
  
She'd written about the kiss . . . she'd written about Future Max . . . she'd written about hearing the words . . . but this, this was too much and she couldn't write it.  
  
The radio crackled as the station nosily ran through its station ID. "This is KROZ, Roswell's official station for hits!" the DJ screamed. It was that same DJ that had followed her and . . . Doug around on that awful blind date.  
  
The night that Max had told her he loved her.  
  
And then promptly forgotten ever saying it when he'd sobered up.  
  
Liz liked to blame Kyle for that. It was much easier to blame him than to really think about what was going on.  
  
Max had thought he loved her, until Tess had 'sobered' him up.  
  
Come to me now,  
And lay your hands over me,  
Even if it's a lie,  
Say it will be all right,  
And I shall believe  
  
Liz stared at the radio in horror. She couldn't listen to this, not now. Her pen and journal clattered to the floor unnoticed as she lunged for the dial to change the station. Her hand touched the knob and a flood of images poured forth. Her and Max dancing . . . Max's smile while he said 'What's so great about normal?' . . . kissing on her balcony . . .   
  
  
  
That not everything is gonna be the way  
You think it ought to be  
It seems like every time   
I try to make it right  
It all comes down on me  
  
The memories continued to flood as Liz listened to the song. She sat, transfixed, unable to run away, listening with some sort of sick fascination. Tears started to collect in her eyes. She pressed her eyelids together in an effort to keep in the tears, despite the stinging.  
  
Please say honestly  
You won't give up on me  
And I shall believe  
And I shall believe  
  
Despite her efforts, a tear made a salty trail down one hot cheek. Blinking in an effort to keep others from following, Liz bit her lip and looked up at the sky. Burning brightly overhead was that binary star that she'd pointed out to Max one night in the desert.   
  
"They are so close, they shine together as one really bright star."  
  
"Damnit," Liz muttered to herself, bending down and collecting her things. "You're being irrational. Just turn off the radio."  
  
But she couldn't.  
  
"Liz?"  
  
It couldn't be. But it was. That tender, yet urgent whispered tone only one voice could achieve. She turned around. "Max?"  
  
He was climbing over the railing, using the fire escape ladder to push his body up over the wall. In seconds he was standing in front of her. Liz hugged the journal to her chest tightly, in an effort to control herself.  
  
"Liz," he repeated, only slower and more gently. It was a statement, but there was an inquisitive note to it. He could see the wet trails the tears had left behind. He knew from the way she was staring at him that he was the cause of it.  
  
Open the door  
And show me your face tonight  
I know it's true  
No one heals me like you  
And you hold the key  
  
He reached out, tentatively, to wipe the tearstains from her cheeks. She stood still and let him touch a gentle hand to her face. Carefully, he brushed his thumb over the tearstains, wiping them away.  
  
And they connected. Max felt Liz's pain rip through his body. It was the worst pain he'd ever felt. And he saw what was causing it.  
  
The song on the radio, I Shall Believe, was their song. Or it would be. He knew that she'd never slept with Kyle. That she'd had to throw him at Tess. That she'd had to sacrifice her heart for the world.  
  
The vision he'd had in Las Vegas was real. It was a memory from the future.   
  
He stepped back. From the way she was looking at him, he could tell that she knew what he'd seen. "Liz . . ."  
  
Never again  
Would I turn away from you  
I'm so heavy tonight  
But your love is alright  
And I do believe  
  
"Max, please." She was close to tears again. "You have to be with Tess." Her voice had that scratchy, fragile tone to it. She was fighting to keep control.  
  
"Liz, Tess and I . . ."  
  
"I don't want to hear it! You're with her! You and she and." Liz was hysterical. Her journal fell to the floor once more as she paced.  
  
"Liz!" She stopped and stared. Max was surprised by the harshness in his voice. "Tess and I are not together."   
  
"But . . ." she threw her hands up, "you were . . ."  
  
"No, Tess was. She 'enhanced' some of my memories."  
  
"No, Max, don't," she protested weakly.  
  
"Liz, I'm meant to be with you. Not Tess. And she knows that. You are my destiny."  
  
"You said that once before," Liz reminded him.  
  
"It's true. You. Are. My. Destiny." He took her hand. "Now. And forever."  
  
Liz looked up into his deep brown eyes. They shone like stars. A warm breeze tickled her bare arms and she felt so right in that moment. She knew.  
  
"What's my destiny?" she asked softly, leaning her forehead against his.  
  
Max smiled. "Liz Parker, your destiny is standing in front of you." Liz smiled as he pulled her into his arms. "Care to dance?"  
  
"There's no music," Liz whispered. The radio had gone inexplicably silent with dead air. Max aimed a finger at it and the familiar song began to play as they twirled across the floor.  
  
Never again  
Would I turn away from you  
I'm so heavy tonight  
But your love is alright  
And I do believe  
  
Please say honestly  
You won't give up on me  
And I shall believe  
I shall believe  
And I shall believe  
  
~@~ The End ~@~  
  
A/N: It took one night to write this - I guess I just got inspired. Who knew insomnia and watermelon juice could produce this? Thanks Rob! ;)  



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